Alright you fucking Sad Sacks. Chariot Wars returns for another year of brutality!
Here's what you need to know so far:
February 13th., 2016
Meet for Brunch at Dawson Park, PDX and be ready to ride from there.
Brunch starts at 11 AM
Ride to the battle leaves at 1 PM
Shit-talking begins NOW!
2016 RULES! This is mainly a formality since very little is changing, but here are the rules this year's organizers have decided on for Ben Hurt 2016.
1) Have fun, dammit. It's fun to fuck up your friends, but remember that we ARE friends.
2) To be eligible to win, a team will consist of two people, one charioteer and one steed, a bike/trike/kickscooter/unicyclist and a chariot joined together by a hitch.
3) Battlecars may enter but may not win. If there are enough entrants, we propose a separate battlecar expo demolition derby, which would be hella sweet.
4) If any team member loses contact with their chariot, they're out. If your chariot is disabled, you're out. Cheaters are out. Goon Squad has final say.
5) Spectators are not to fuck with chariots in any meaningful way. You can hand someone a fallen weapon. Glitter/shaving cream balloon bombs, okay. Chili-flinging, gross, but okay. Build a chariot if you want to fight.
6) If a battlecar is in the arena but not participating in the battle (like the hot tub), they are not to be fucked with.
7) Goon Squad can and will blacklist spectators from the party and Sunday Olympics if these very simple guidelines are not followed.
8) No chemical/biological weapons. Smoke bombs are okay, as is blood from a wound sustained in battle, but please don't bring pipe bombs or months old piss and rotten eggs. This applies to spectators as well as charioteers.
9) Weapons must be padded. If you want to use an unpadded weapon ONLY against chariots, it must be painted bright orange. If you don't want it used against you, don't bring it.
Each team must shotgun a beer each before taking off to the battle spot (aka the Bones Dome) and upon commencement of the battle
Two man Chariots
One steed, one charioteer, one bike, one chariot joined together. Anything thing beyond that is a battle car .
If you are caught cheating you will be dq'ed
Battle cars can enter but cannot win
No chemical or biological weapons(smoke bombs, fireworks can be used but not against competitor use good judgement )
If the charioteer or steed lose contact with your chariot you are out. Goon squad led by Dutch and his goons will have the final call
Weapons for chariots will be painted orange
The crowd is allowed to harass Battle Cars but not the competitors. Teams can pay crowd members to launch guerrilla attacks against Battle Cars but payment must be in the form of whiskey.
If a chariot is disabled you can go for the chariot jack which means if you can displace the chariot and steed within 30 seconds of you being declared disabled you can run the stolen chariot
If you can't take a beating with it don't use it against other competitors
Last statement is if you have a question about the rules ask someone they are traditional rules and if it seems sketchy it probably is lets have fun because as much as its about beating the snot out your friends its about a good time ....
Each team must make a banner to be posted along the arena when your out your flag hits the dirt ....
The crowd can hand weapons off to their squads and throw shit but lets keep it under control