Monday, February 17, 2014


After a brutal battle in a monsoon-soaked wasteland Garai and Luke of Team Sexx'n Candy (and Pavement Princesses) won chariot wars!
Their epic one-handed pullouts eliminated team after team, crushing all in their path! 
Until next year keep praying to the Ben Hurt Gods for another battle of the ages! 
Watch the whole battle here:
Photo and video credits: Billy Meiners, Dabe Alan, Lee Ackerman, and Felix

And the crowd goes wild!!!

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Saturday rally point!

All brave souls for the epic battle of the gutter gods meet at: 1730 se 35th place. This Saturday, Feb 15th at 1:00 pm. There we will feast on flesh and blood before riding forth to the battlefield. Ride departs at 3:00 pm. 

No cars. No fucking glass! Ride your fucking bicycle. Don't be late or ye shall be sacrificed to the superfund site!

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Da Rules. (2014 edition)

Theme this year: MONSTER MASH

Meet for Brunch at 2pm on Sat 2/15: 1730 SE 35th Place
After brunch (around 5pm) we will ride as a group to the wars. The location is a secret to keep cars away. Fuck cars!

Rules are basically the same as past years (Goon squad will be in effect to make sure y'all are safe):
-Build a bicycle pulled chariot, connected with a hitch system.
-At least one rider on the bicycle and one in the chariot.
-All weapons must be padded. No helmet pulling. Don’t send your friends to the hospital!
-Your team is OUT if: (a) you become disconnected from your bicycle/chariot , or (b) your shit breaks.
-Chemical weapons are discouraged.
-Battle Cars can compete but you cannot win.
-This year’s theme is MONSTER MASH. Feel free to gear up/decorate accordingly.

Monday, January 6, 2014

11th Annual Mini Bike Winter

You heard it right! Get your beer booty to Portland this February! Many Blood Babes await! A weekend of freakbike massacre and mini bike mafioso! Pain will be shared like half-gallons of booze and fun flows thick like muddy river deltas. Bring friends, bikes, t-shit cannons, and pedal powered tanks. The apocalypse will not be televised!

Stupid bike fun!
Hater Races!
Diesel powered hipster fires!
Skullcrushing superfund sites!

Friday, January 3, 2014

Chariot Wars 2014 is coming!

Presidents Day Weekend is just over a month away, and with that comes the onslaught of Mini Bike Winter and the EPIC Ben Hurt Chariot Wars.

Do you have your team ready? Are you prepared to have your brain grapes crushed like apple cores in a bone-hammer factory?!

The trophy awaits. Who wants it?!
No F**kface! The one on the left!

Sunday, February 17, 2013


The 2013 Chariot Wars champions have been crowned! The first ever all-lady team to take victory in the Ben Hurt Chairot Wars! Badass women making history like you know they can.

And in case you missed the BRUTAL action here's a fun recap video of the battle (plus a lot of brunch footage... Which is not brutal... Nope not at all...)

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Chariot Wars 2013!

Oh snap! It's almost that time again! Mini Bike Winter X. Getchoself some!

And you might be wondering what's the dealio with Chariot Wars?! Well here are the vital stats for the impending doom and destruction.

Meet for Brunch at Noon on February 16th.
1730 SE 35th Place (35th and Hawthorne)
After brunch we will ride to the battleground. (yup, ride. As in bikes! No we will not tell you in advance where it is so you can drive you and your car full of friends to the spot. puhleeese)

Rules are basically the same as past years (Goon squad will be in effect to make sure y'all are safe):
-Build a bicycle pulled chairot.
-At least one rider on the bicycle and one in the chariot.
-All weapons must be padded.
-Become disconnected from your bicycle/chairot and yer team is out.
-Shit ain't rolling anymore? Yer out!
-Dont hurt your friends.
-Guardrail is calling the shots this year. Wanna bitch, then bitch to him. But know right now that he don't care.  No, really... He doesn't care.

Check Zoobomb for deets on the rest of the weekend! Or watch this informational video on Panda Bears: