Wednesday, January 17, 2018

2018 Ben Hurt Chariot Wars Rules!

Last year's winners make up this year's rules. A lot of them are for SAFETY so we're pretty serious about them. (For any questions about Rules 1-9 please see Rule 10)


  1. Have fun, dammit. It's fun to fuck up your friends, but remember that we ARE friends.
  2. To be eligible to win, a team will consist of two people, one charioteer and one steed, a bike/trike/kickscooter/unicyclist and a chariot joined together by a hitch.
  3. Battlecars may enter but may not win. If there are enough entrants, we propose a separate battlecar expo demolition derby, which would be hella sweet.
  4. If any team member loses contact with their chariot, they're out. If your chariot is disabled, you're out. Participants cannot be tethered to their vehicles in any way. Cheaters are out. Goon Squad has final say.
  5. Spectators are not to fuck with chariots in any meaningful way. You can hand someone a fallen weapon. Glitter/shaving cream balloon bombs, okay. Chili-flinging, gross, but okay. Build a chariot if you want to fight.
  6. No chemical/biological weapons. Smoke bombs are okay, as is blood from a wound sustained in battle, but please don't bring pipe bombs or months old piss, rotten eggs or expanding foam. This applies to spectators as well as charioteers.
  7. If a battlecar is in the arena but not participating in the battle (like the hot tub), they are not to be fucked with.
  8. Weapons must be padded. If you want to use an unpadded weapon ONLY against chariots, it must be painted bright orange. If you don't want it used against you, don't bring it
  9. Goon Squad can and will blacklist spectators from the party and Sunday events if these very simple guidelines are not followed. Goon Squad has final say.
  10. Deal with it.

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